Why You Should Make 365 Resolutions for 2016

I was tempted to just tell you NOT to make any New Year’s resolutions...

I was tempted to tell you NOT to make any but then I realized that isn't really the point I want to make. I do think we should make resolutions but not on the first day of a new year - scratch that - not just on the first day of the year, I think we should make them daily. Here’s why...

Have you made New Year’s resolutions before? Did you stick to them? 

If you didn’t, did you feel guilty? Did you shame yourself when you didn’t keep up your new habit or didn’t reach the goal you set? That’s the worst right? I shame myself all the time, I didn’t even realize I was doing it until a few weeks ago when I attended an amazing workshop where one of the topics discussed was shame. For instance, part of my job is to do research, make graphics, update my website - like a bunch of computer stuff. So basically, some days I drop the kids at school and do nothing more than “play” on the computer. I sit there, doing actual work, that I just so happen to actually enjoy, and I find that I am allowing this little voice in my head to tell me I should be doing something else, that what I am doing is not right; like I should do the laundry or I should do the dishes or I should be keeping the kids home with me. Why? Because I have a job I enjoy and I work from home? Yeah...that is why.

I’ve realized something about myself...

I’ve had a million different jobs and many of them have been the kind that elicit the “oh, must be nice” response from people based on assumptions they’ve made about what I do. Years of getting that response every time I told somebody my occupation led me to start justifying and apologizing for my job - weird, right? Anyway, I’ve realized that I shame myself because at some point I decided that I wasn’t what I “should” be and I’m guessing that was the moment when this exhausting inner conflict was created - the little inner voice of shame.

Now, back to New Year’s resolutions.

I guess I have an aversion to New Year's resolutions because I feel like we place them on a pedestal and that pedestal has the potential to cast shade - Shame Shade. Our resolutions can be awesome and drive us to accomplish our goals and become better, stronger, healthier versions of ourselves. But, if we get caught in the Shame Shade of our BIG New Year’s resolutions it can have the opposite effect. It can be exhausting and draining and cause an unnecessary inner conflict that doesn't do us any good (like me with my weird occupation justifications).

So, this year, don't do it!

Don’t make those big bad New Year’s resolutions, make daily or weekly resolutions. Make small resolutions that give you more control and empower your choices everyday rather than shame you and tear you down. Allow yourself the freedom to evaluate your progress and reevaluate your resolutions. Every day is a new day and you have the power to make your life whatever you want it to be by consistently making decisions that are true to you and true to what you want. People change, allow yourself the room to learn and grow. And, most of all, be kind to yourself. HAPPY NEW YEAR!


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